Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Foreplay perfected

I knew I was making a mistake, considering the blue balls I would have the next day.

But one, I wanted to torture myself, to relive the highschool days where I would shake in pain with every step I took,
Two, I wanted to torture myself, to once again prove to myself that being "special" is a curse
Three, I was really curious if she could sleep, like she said she would.

I was going home with a girl, under the pretense that we would just sleep.

That up to this point we have not slept is totally caused by me not giving a girl hope for future relationships, just in order to get laid. So, call it masochist torture, ball pain inflicted on ones self.

But then, I was going home with a girl, who got a phone call

3 A.M. It was -17 degrees, and blowing like the sky had eaten a truck of beans. My ears were frozen, my nose was frozen, my chin totally ice, but I could overhear the conversation

"I am going to spend the night with one man"

...

"Yes, I know him"

...

"We have been texting"

...

"How old are you?" she asks me, I tell her,

And she hands me the phone,

"Hello, I am SleepyGirls Mom"

"Good evening"

And even the rest of the conversation, the next fifteen seconds were not enough to prevent my blueballs.

In the end nothing could stop my mission of torturing myself.

She managed to sleep, I managed to smile to my pain.

Smiling now.

Cause I'm a creep.

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