Thursday, December 16, 2004

Brainstorming on one lost battle..

A girl I met months ago, a friend of some flirt of my friend...
After some friendly chat about dating stuff, I was called “You are an asshole”…
A few weeks ago, on Saturday,
Am in Doris, get bored, move to Henkka…

As I am leaving Henkka, I see this girl, chat with her, and, end up in her friends place for an afterparty…
About the afterparty, three people drank almost two bottles of wine from four till five am, and they were drunk when they got home, before those bottles…
I don’t get that…

Well, little later than five me and the girl leaves that place, and end up in mine, with the condition, she will stay on my couch…
After some time we end up on the couch, later move to bed…
“I want to fuck you so much, but I can’t” are her words… She has her days…

She leaves…

See her a week later, tease her a little, have fun myself, joke, chat, bust on her, even insert some politics into the convo…
Later when she passes by to pick up her earring that she forgot, I notice, she being evasive, I lost the battle. Being sober she will never go “I want to fuck you so much” again…

Even if I catch her drunk, she will not do it…
Some fuse in her mind had blown, and that will not be possible to mend…

Thinking about this, I have some storming to do:

- Second Saturday, by cracking jokes, entertaining myself, I came out as desperately trying,
- Second Saturday, by teasing her, I hit a vein in her insecurity, causing her to back off
- Sometime she noticed she will not get me for long, she backs off
- Saw too much self esteem in me, made her insecure…
- She is a status worshipping bitch, me talking to her friendly, made me loose the status
- She saw I am comfortable around them (she and her gorgeous engaged friend), came out as player or desperate
- Something in my actions made her think I want a relationship, and she does not
- She fucked somebody on Saturday, and now, after three days, is in a relationship..
- By using her earring for a basis of a joke, that I am holding it hostage, I seemed desperate for her
- By interacting friendly, I destroyed the mystery
- By not turning my back, I disobeyed the rules
- By acknowledging her presence, I disobeyed the rules…

I can continue,
But as an objective view,
It was my mistake. Forgot about Finland Rules for Flirting.

Analyzing this,
If she was a European girl, European in the sense, Central and South Europe
The same incident could have taken a flow like this, comparing to the Finnish one:

************
European - First meeting: He is friendly, but he is very independent, hmmm… Maybe an asshole, I shall tell him that. What, he smiles? Getting intrigued…

Finnish – First meeting: He looks good.. Hmmm… And he is friendly.. Yea, desperate... Look at the fucker... Thinks he can fuck everything that moves.. Asshole… And he is smiling? Yea yea.. He indeed fucks everything that moves.

************
European – Second meeting: Hey, it’s this guy, the smiley asshole, hmm, speaks well.. So there is indeed something else than looks… And he is not walking away.. This guy knows.. Good… Afterparty.. Let’s go.. Hmm.. Teasing me, so what, I am having fun, the party hosts are cracking up, hey this guy is gold… Fucking cold outside, and I have to walk… Invites me to a cab to get his couch, bloody hell… Let's see what else he is good at… Damn, I want him so bad, but have my days, I gotta go… What he say’s makes sense, maybe I should stay till the morning and leave when its light, from his background I understand he does not want a girl to walk home alone pitch dark on a Saturday morning, something happens to me, he is the first suspect.. Too risky, besides being against the global rules of the gentleman club.

Finnish – Second Meeting: Hey, it’s this guy, the fucky asshole, hmm, speaks well.. So, he must be desperate, even with those looks. And he is not walking away… this guy is desperate. Bad. Afterparty. Let’s go.. Hmmm… Teasing me, so what, I am having fun, the party hosts are craking up, hey this guy is gold… But must be desperate. … Fucking cold outside, and I have to walk… Invites me to a cab to get his couch, bloody hell… Let’s see how much he wants to fuck me… Damn, I want him so bad, but have my days, I gotta go… What he say’s makes sense, maybe I should stay till the morning and fuck him when its light, bastard… from my background I understand he does not want a girl to leave his home on a Saturday morning. Not good, considering he is desperate for a fuck… Didn’t I just tell him “I want to fuck him badly???”… But I am a girl.. I am not easy or desperate. A man should not want. What the fuck am I thinking? I am leaving.

************
European – Third meeting: Hey, there is this guy, hot again… Oh he comes… Haaa haaaahahahaaa.. hahahahaaaaa... hahahahaaaaa... My friend? Oh she is bla bla... He talks to my friend to whom many man are too intimidated to talk to.. wow… haa haahahahahaaa.. hahahaaaahaaaa… wow my Friday nite has gotten better, I am getting wet… Look at the bastard, he said hi to three gorgeous girls while talking to me in the five minutes… Hmm.. He knows about advertisement.. Ah, there is xxx, an old friend, let me talk to him.. bla bla.. xxx, is drunk, that is the only time he can talk to me, and even then only for three minutes, loser.. ah, my asshole is talking to my friend who is engaged, about engagement.. He does not get shot down.. Wow… haaa hhahahahahhahaaaa… My earring, you damn well bet I will do anything to get them back, please use them as hostage… Aha, these women checking him out… Hehe… ego treat for me… Hey, I am not stupid, ha, he agrees.. I busted back on him.. Hey, he is enjoying it, let me bust back… He does not get intimidated ha, shit, still teasing me.. but, hahahaaaaa… politics.. what did he ask about Felluce? Whatever, he was right I prefer him, not serious.. hahahahaaaaa… he is leaving? Damn I gotta call him to get my earring,…

Finnish – Third meeting: Hey, there is this guy, hot again… Oh he comes… Desperate...Haaa haaaahahahaaa.. hahahahaaaaa... hahahahaaaaa... My friend? Oh she is bla bla... He talks to my friend to whom many man are too intimidated to talk to.. wow… he wants to fuck her…. haa haahahahahaaa.. hahahaaaahaaaa… who the fuck does he think he is, being the only person in the bar who smiles.. so full of himself the bastard.. I laugh, but I can, am a woman… Look at the bastard, he said hi to three gorgeous girls while talking to me in the five minutes… Hmm.. He fucks a lot .. Ah, there is xxx, an old friend, let me try to talk to him.. bla bla.. xxx, is drunk, that is the only time he talks to me, and even then only for three minutes.. yea he is da man….ah, my asshole is talking to my friend who is engaged, about engagement.. He is indeed desperate.. talking to an engaged nice woman.. . Wow, bastard… haaa hhahahahahhahaaaa… what is happening? I am laughing.. no no.. I need a shrink… My earring, you damn well bet I will do anything to get them back, without seeing you… Aha, these women checking him out… Hehe… ego treat for me… I am da fucking queen having this hunk desperate for me…. Hey, I am not stupid, ha, he agrees.. Who the fuck do you think you are.. Hey, he is enjoying it, selfish narcissist bastard… He does not get intimidated ha, pathetic to still stay…. shit, still teasing me.. Shit is I that stupid…???? but, hahahaaaaa… politics.. what did he ask about Felluce? Who does he think he is? Fucking Clinton? Ey? …. Whatever, he was right I prefer him, not serious.. What did I say, I prefer him? This pathetic player who gives me the best time in the nite, but talking to me looses all the challenge? Fuck off.. I am not that easy…hahahahaaaaa… he is leaving? Good, so I can go run after my drunken xxx, who is da man.

Hope you enjoyed!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

A friend: Finnish guys are abusive

Came home, after hearing the words from a friend,
“Wow, Finnish guys are abusive”

I was about to write another “fuck you” text, but then an evening Turkish coffee opened my eyes..

Yes it’s true, you get to see men, good looking, ugly etc, dancing with a woman, the woman trying every possible move, and the guy not even paying attention..
The girl talking to the guy, guy going, “Shut up”, and talking to his friends, the girl, in love after this…

First date rape.
A man giving more importance to beer than the woman.. Getting praise for it..
A man giving more importance to getting drunk, than the woman, getting laid for it..
Guys treating women as if the don’t exist..
Guys treating women as they are the lowliest whores…
Guys treating women like they are some dogs in heat…
Guys treating women like burning pussy in need of dick – not totally untrue..

Yes, that is abusive…
In our southerner eyes…
It is a fucking crime…
In South Europe you could get killed for that.

But this is Finland…,
This is called paying respect to the woman…

What is abusive actually is not treating the woman like shit.
IT IS TREATING THE WOMAN LIKE A WOMAN…
And then, leaving her lying on bed, without writing down your phone number…
Crime, because that was the unknown, in a society where women take pride in being like men.
The feeling that she is a woman, she was hunted, served, pleasured, is something special, enhancing the pain, upon the leave of the man,
Unlike being treated like shit all the way…

Then, I am talking about the night scene…
And what they say is, the bad comes out at nite…
(Its pitch dark here after four nowadays.. no comment)

The guys, I do not consider abusive anymore....
They are just doing what they gotta do… What they were tought by women...
You don’t treat her like shit, you don’t get laid…
Sadly, this is true for the majority of the night marketplace…

In the end, remembered the saying,
To know the women of a country, look at their men.
Women educate their men, men just follow the rules.

So,
Simply, the rule is,
The woman wants you, only to prove herself, she can exist in your world, whatever hell that may be…

*****************************************************************

If you ever get the chance, go to one of the international parties in Kiva, or Europe.

Look at the foreigners flirting…
Look at the guy talking, the girl talking, they both laughing..
Look at the proximity,
Look at the communication they have…

Then,
Go to a Finnish place like Panama or Ilves, and observe the flirts…
You will see what I mean.

Simply,

Different rules…

If I am desperate, you are fucking pathetic – ONE

I heard them many times, but did not dwell on them.

As the memories of all the independent occurrences are coming into mind, I need to spill out some thoughts out of my head onto this white word sheet.
The anger at other people arises from the fact that, if I am about to have fun, and these break my fun with stupid comments, they are guilty. If you don’t want to execute these, you get angry.
And of course, if these stupid comments prevent me from getting laid that nite, I get pissed.

Here are the trigger sentences, for this text, said for the same bar, for Saturdays, said by a multitude of men and women:

“You are always here in this bar, that’s desperate”
“You are working hard, being here every week.”
“You sit on this table all the time, that’s not good.”

So let’s brainstorm…

ONE:

“You are always here in this bar, that’s desperate”

Is it…
This is a fucking small town. And I like my age group. So, how many bars/pubs are there to go to. ??? One…
And how many weekends do I have on the week, One…

What am I gonna do, sit home and commit suicide for being homesick? Something you may not know, not visiting your parents who live in the same town, in the last two years…
Or go out with my friends, enjoy the chats, the time, talk to people passing by, girl or boy, meet long lost acquaintances….????

It is this fucking idea that “you go to bar to fuck someone, or get an ego treat”....
I don’t need that.
Of course I hit on women, successfully or not… By now I have women who evade me, and women who think I am a God or something…

Saturday is a weekend, and unlike solitary Finns, we southerners are lone wolfs who enjoy the pack. Hunt lone, live lone, have a pack.

And as said, I am bloody far from home, from a brother for whom a song makes me cry. And I am supposed to spend the Saturday nite home, watching some shitty Hollywood flick, some porn, jerk off and sleep, or call a girl and spend my Saturday at home with one person, what I can do on weekdays anyway…

I am no Fin.
I do not play with the Finnish rules, that you have read here a ditty thousand times.

Yes, I am desperate, for I will do anything to have good time. A good conversation, a good touch, and irresistible eye contact. Having fun at the end of a bloody week.
And I am there, because people I like to talk to know I am there. It is not fucking London, where you have two thousand pubs.. It is Tampere, and this is the only place to go.
Ah yea, I talk to women, and if we have the same frequency, we have good time with the conversation… By that I mean laughter, not a fucking interrogation.

Laughter, joy, fun, pleasure, pussy.
I want that.

And if you call me desperate for that, you know what, you are bloody pathetic...
Living in a world of shadows. The shadow of the hell where the only aim is to prove one's worth...

P.a.t.h.e.t.i.c....

If I am desperate, you are fucking pathetic – TWO

So, the next sentence,

“You are working hard, being here every week.”

Heard it many times…
Hard work is in the week..
When you come home from a bloody day, and pass out on the couch…

For me, going out is fun.
Fun is not hard work..
I do not work for it.

I go out, have chats, women and men, have flirts, only with women, and enjoy myself, and my company.
That is hard work?

Well, I am not part of the kind of men who are so plentiful outside, who cannot say “hi” to another human being, let alone women, before having more alcohol in his veins than blood.
No, for me interaction is something which is entertaining, not something which I have to do in this damn unfair difficult world.
Not something for which I have to loose my self in alcohol, to be able to say two words in a row to a woman.

It just is in the nature.

I go out. Enjoy. I talk. Enjoy. I flirt. Enjoy. I shoot down. Enjoy. Don’t shoot down. Enjoy. I fuck. Enjoy.

Now, if you are a person, who calls going out, hard work, can’t start a bloody conversation without being drunk, and still complain all the time that you are drunk – what the fuck do I care - , get drunk to overcome the “social pressures” of being surrounded by people, get drunk to get drunk…

If I am desperate without having the needs above,
Using the word pathetic on you is an insult to the pathetic people in the world.

You are sick.

If I am desperate, you are fucking pathetic – THREE

You sit on this table all the time, that’s not good.”

Yea.

I heard it from many people,
I sit on the table all the time.
I do not turn faster than a chronometer around the bar,
Actually after some time I quit counting how many times people have passed in front of my face making their turns of the bar.

I sit on the table.
On my left I have a friend.
On my right I have a friend.
On the other side I have another friend.

I am with them, and I am not.
A girl I know, who knows I am there has come, so I am with her for the moment.

She goes, another one comes.

If none comes, I have some chat, enjoy myself..
Or reduce my surroundings to an empty space ,and dwell in my own thoughts accompanied with the music…

Occasionally I go up, take a walk around to see if there’s some chick I missed, as other hunters out there do, take a leak and come back.
My territory. Leave to hunt, if food is scarce.
A good overview, a clothing hanger, and an ashtray..
Ah, and good music in my ear…

So, I am desperate for enjoying my presence, for taking pride in being…

Then you, by desperately turning around the bar, hoping you’ll spill some beer to start a conversation, with which you will hopefully end up having sex, and almost racing with the chronometer, on who will make a faster turn, not being able to hold on to one place, getting intimidated by people getting close to them,
If your walks are based on an unending desperate search for any mate, based on your insecurity to deal with another human being closer than ten meters, et fucking c…

If you call me desperate,
I am sorry for calling you the pathetic human ghost without any human abilities that you civilized people should have.

I prefer to be the ape, if this, what you are, is human.
UGH!

And prefer to be desperate but content with myself.
UGH UGH!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

A good girl....

There are the girls who consider themselves good.
...Like decent.

When I first came,
I hit on a woman like that, she was responsive, her friends bitchy,
As if protecting some kind of precious gem from the notorious geminator…
WTF??

Turns out she is dating this guy for some years..
And actually continues to date him, and now they are engaged…

But for a fact, I know she fucked one of the players in town, a few months back,
And a player not like the decent type of James Bond, but the Rocco the Anal Monster type…
(No idea of dick sizes though…
Never seen James Bond’s….)

And I can show you quite a number of examples for each of these categories of men…

Anyway,
So this girl needed a good banging before getting engaged…

I do not mind who she fucks.. Really , don’t give a shit…

But,
Do mind,
That the “nice girl” image is used, diseased by people like this, whose voice is the loudest…
And that these people try to impose labels other than nice, who are not living in the way they are...
Same goes for “nice boys”, even hitting on the female fly in the bar, and after seeing they can get her to bed, go fuck their so called female-friends…

You know what,

Fuck yourself….

One of the many cultural misunderstandings...

Three Italians at dinner with their girlfriends…

One of the girlfriends does not talk for hours, she usually is not talkative anyway…
One Italian, with a smile in his face, jokes:
“Hey, you talked so much, please shut up”

Another girl replies:
“That is so rude”

The other two Italians choke in laughter…

Come on…
What is rude?
Being on a table, not saying anything, or having a friendly joke about that…

And then,
He is a bloody Italian,
Those fucks can’t even shut up when they sleep…

p.s.: Now some are going to think, “you should pay respect for that culture of silence” etc etc… Does that culture pay me any tolerance or understanding for my friendly, respectful actions except “Oh it’s a different culture, how interesting”.... end of story.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Everlasting Love, ...My Ass

The original was written 5.12.2004,
The update is added to the bottom.


Old Pricks,
Somewhere in November...
I am there with the guys, four or five, the same night as ”This is Finland”,
Only one girl I would like to bang that night, so I go to her….

Information I learned in the first three minutes,
She is single for a few weeks now,
Not looking for a ONS,
If I am into no relationship I should go.
If I am looking for a relationship I should stay.

Curiosity in how long I will be in Finland.
And she is looking for a relationship already…..

I see,
No time for that…
Those kinds of women are crazy… (check “What lies beneath”)

When I leave, the guy who hit on her before me came back, he was shot down the first time, this time he did not…

Next day,
On Saturday, she arrives to Panama with that guy, all over each other,
When I leave with a good girl friend, she is leaving too, gives me a goodnite, I said the same…

Two weeks later, the same guy is banging some other older gal….
That was a relationship…



In that case…,
I love relationships!!!!


Update on 7 April 2005:

So this girl has gotten at least four confirmed kills in the past months. With all she is holding hands - and act more sacred than having sex, in my agenda....

This is a relationship mode.... In that case, what does it mean that "you are a player..." Am I supposed to lay 299 girls in a month??

She loves extacy

Sitting in Panama...
Chatting with someone, dunno who, anymore...

Girl comes…
Stands in front of me…
Looks at me..
I look at her…
She comes closer…

“sfgjdhgkjdvnkdfngeirghndfnvd”
“Oj anteeksi, en puhuu suomea”
”dfgjdfgkdnvdkfgnekgndf,vdn,f”
”Hey, I think I said, I don’t speak Finnish”
“Can I talk to you in English?” She asks?????????????????
“And you ask????” I reply…

Aaaaaaand boom:

“Do you have ecstasy”
“No.. Do I look like a motherfucking drugdealer??” (exact words)

“Ummmm…. Nooo… but someone who may have some”
“and how do I know you are not a cop???”
“…..”
“No ecstasy,” I say, “Let’s find you something sweeter”
“Nothing is as good as ecstasy… .... ....Not even a man”…

“Not even me?”
“No”
“You did not taste me yet..”
“Hmmm No..”…

I ended convo there, as I knew where it was going, and had no intention of humping somebody that nite.
She left.
The last time I saw her, she was grinding three guys on the dancefloor…

Drunk women... Once more

So, am in Panama, dancing with three friends, a girl and two guys,
This girl passes me by, gets stuck by my beauty,

Stops, looking at me, and me looking at her, I also stopped ?
Gets hold of my neck, pulls me down, I resist, so she goes on dancing…

Three hours later,
A friend almost had a fight with two guys twice his size, so am dancing around him..
This girl is dancing with a guy..

uuups, sorry…
The guy is trying to dance with her, and hold her hand…
No chance, her eyes are on me, and mine on her cute girl friend’s…
I go to the girlfriend, get shot down…
When I turn around, slow music starts, and the girl (not the friend) holds out her hand..

Why not?
It’s free…

So we dance,
She speaks German,
Thinking how fast this was, how effortless and without any investment… So why not, I thought.
Ask if she wants to come with me,
“Oh yea” is the answer…

Lesson 1: If drunken girl says oh yea, don’t fucking wait to get her home, bang her on the toilet seat

We go downstairs,
Outside…
The girls are hungry, it’s me, my girl, and her friend…
They can’t decide where they should go, and I don’t care, am talking to a friend…
At that point two Finns come up..
Try to start chatting…

Lesson 2: If you have a girl, Finns don’t come to talk to you, they come to try get the girl away from you, foreigner.. Ignore…

Guys leave…
So, my girl is from out of town, and stays at her friend..
Friend asks me if I am coming,
“I suppose so” turn to my girl who was trying to hold my hand on the way to the jacket queue..
“Umm.. I have a boyfriend”

Lesson 3: Don’t waste time, Bang on toilet seat!!

I crack up at their face…
Call my friends who are in Hesburger,
And leave the crime scene, singing:



“Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looks like a girlfriend…………………………………..”

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

An interesting observation....

Went to Doris on a Saturday after long time...
Was dressed casually, and a little over whiskied..

Met three girls at that night,
All three ended up behaving like a kid who just heard the teacher will check homeworks, ran away, and kept on checking me out throughout the night…

The talks were nothing of serious nature..
And a laugh was never missing – This mood I get sometimes. And maybe should stick to the girl who never makes me get out of it… (Note to myself: Stop fucking with your mind.)
Introductions were done normally, not too much touching or so…
And as said, they kept on checking me out, whenever passing by, shyly put their head lower.

As I will not play the “I am shy”, “I am excited” – (Some women do get me excited to the point of total failure, they know themselves, and to keep that specialty for them, I refuse playing excited among women I am not) – “Oh I don’t know what to do to get you like me”, or the low profile – Which I cannot even get in my lowest days,

I guess, what I need is a woman, not a girl, and that comes with age, experience, nature, and choices.

The solution lies in having a better initial screening, and a selection done in the first ten seconds, so as not to loose time with this kind of incidence. Fun I can have with myself, or my friends, or, a woman who will not run at the sight of me, hands in pockets.
And I hope this selection will be based on something more than a boob ass combination.