Wednesday, February 25, 2004

The ultimate proof

Yesterday went to the shooting range, had some shots from twenty five meters with .22 caliber guns, then were chilling out at a friend’s place, where I heard one of the best proofs for my texts.....

The texts, for which many blame me as being pregidious, sexist and even racist sometimes, whereas I am only reporting on observations...
The story evolves in the night, some two months ago, when an Italian friend together with a Turkish guy was celebrating his birthday in Senssi.

Sometime through the night this girl approaches me,
Digging me,
All over me,
“you are gorgeous...”
“You are sexy”
“Ohhh so handsome...”
As I am after another girl who is not in the vicinity, sadly, and as it is the Italian’s birthday, I present this girl to him, as a birthday gift,
“If you want me, first you have to talk to my manager” I say, and pass the girl over to him.....
They chat, I see them go dancing, and I leave the bar..

After I leave, while they dance, the issue pops up, and the girl learns he is Italian...
“You are not Turkish??”
“No, am Italian..”
“But your friend is Turkish”
“But I am Italian”
With a gesture of a plane flying high,
“In that case your points go waaaaaaaaaaaay up!”


Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Another oooold lesson

Its a morning in turkey, finland is –twentysix, I have much more then plus six...
Sunny outside, but cold..
I am going through some old photos..
Saw a picture,
Year ninetyfive...
Graduation day of a highschool – not mine, but many friends from there..
and there she is, smiling.. Mini skirt, tight tshirt, diploma in her hand, a black graduation cap on her head.

One of the two girls I dated that spring year.
Beautiful.. very beautiful.. Swimmer, basketball player, volleyball player, all licensed, in the team...
Anyway, she is the girl in the story, “An old story”..

At that times we guys in grade nine had the habit of finding out girls’ phones and calling them without telling our name, and just saying “I saw you there, and liked you, my friend gave me your number”.. Five to six calls, was fun... I even got to get two dates that way...

...Am sitting in my best friends house, was planning to meet this girl, but she flaked on me, so I went to him..
After some time, he tells me if he can call her, he will try something.
So the usual system was put to work, I saw you there etc etc...
And at one point he asks her if they can meet, she says maybe,
He asks if she has a boyfriend, she says no...
Thirty seconds silence, he looks at me..
Continues chat, and closes the phone.
“I thought you guys were dating”
“So did I”

That was one big lesson I had...
Well, it was me laughing in the end, but the pain of that answer haunted me long time.
Was too good, just too good :)
Hea, you guys still wonder why Holy Philosoph Babe Goddess Ayca told me:

“How did this cute boy become this monster?”


Women blowing up

Now another chauvinistic materialistic text by me,
This is a proscientific article,

Topic: women with boyfriends..

Hypotheses : Women no matter what they look like, tend to gain weight, extreme weight, when in a relationship


- One of my exgirlfriends, now I realize I left her cause she gained too much weight in the eight months we dated. Had a nice belly, but in the eight months the belly multiplied, as did the butts... When I met her a year after we broke up, she was back to being a babe. Tight ass, tight belly.
- A girl I knew. Did not give me her number. Was not a small girl. One seventy five and a little over belly, nice butts, shaped legs. Strong looking. Found a boyfriend, and now she is impossible to recognize. Looks like having given birth two quads... – four babies at once...
- A doris girl... Not beautiful, but sexy.. Admit, big breasts are attractive for males. Started dating this tarantino imitation, and now is in the fat top five in doris. All that in one year.
- Friend of one of the most sexiest girl I had been with. She was a cute little girl two years ago. When I quit seeing her friend, she started with this hip hop guy, and now she is walking in doris with lifesaver rings.
- My first hairdresser. Had the best touch I ever knew on my head. This redhead. A friend, and now she is a chubby redhead.
- Many girls in the nitelife I had seen long ago. Who got lost for a time, and then came back on the market, average gain eight kilos.
- Many girls in school, I have seen for three years, few who are walking hand in hand with a guy get thinner.
- One girl I met couple of times. Went to Helsinki in the summer, found a boyfriend, came back with new clothes...
- A Turkish friend was hitting on her.. Not a thin girl.. But she chose to take the man of a girl I know... Couple of months later, I just walked past her, thinking who was this...
- Nokia summer party. See my friend, and immediately ask her who the hottie beside her is.. Get friends with her.. A year or two later I see her, oh oh...

Proof: exists

Solution: Hypotheses is correct.

Theory: Single women are on the lookout, so take care of themselves to get their price higher. A boyfriend eliminates this need. Thus women tend to poooofffff....

Exceptions: Women dating exceptional guys. They tend to stay same. And I know a couple of exceptional guys.

Personal note: A person expecting this from a woman, shall give the same respect to expecting it from himself, without regard to the woman’s wish, as your first relationship is with yourself, and respect also has to be shown to this relationship.

Differing Ideas

Remembered last time when I was thinking about men behaving badly, and how much fun it actually can be to tease.
Was another realization that everything is dependent on viewpoints.
As master Einstein has put it: Relativity

A place where it seems, my name precedes me.

Hook up with the sister of a goodfriends’ friend, I am materialistic, so, she is blonde, no belly, one eighty plus height, cute face... And intelligent little girl. – thought she was 24 something, turned up to be 18 later on...

Well, human interaction.
Anyway, there is nobody interesting that nite, so no need to go hunting around, and I am enjoying my time.
She needs to go to the ladies room,
I go and get a soda, come back to the place we were, and enjoy the music and the uninteresting surroundings.

My memory mistreats me here, the girl comes back and then goes to get a beer or so.. Do not recall that much..
I just know that not five heartbeats away from going towards the bar, she meets this one guy, starts talking, and I am understanding that it is time to make the surroundings more interesting. E.g.: Come down the god pedestal into the prince mood :)

Sometime then,
And older woman approaches me – older are quite rare in doris
“I was observing you”
“I say you are a very different man”
“What makes you come to that specific conclusion?”
“You were with this one beautiful girl, and when she left to the toilet, you waited for her”
“Could be, and that shows?”
“This is so unusual. You did not go hit on some other women in meantime”
“Yep I did not. Thanks for your opinion. I like women who say what they think”
Giggles, and goes back to her table.

To the one showing you respect.

All relative.

Makeup miracle

Did my shopping in Lidl,
Heavy stuff.. Was not home for three weeks, and the fridge was empty..
Pass by the counter, pay my money..
The cashier is someone familiar, but who?
Get my stuff to the car.. Without gloves.. My hands freeze..
Open the radio, City...
Rub my hands to get them warm...

It strikes me..
that girl, was one babe in Doris, maybe in the first five list of mine...
And I could not even recognize her without makeup...

Could’ve hit on her,
Like, offer a banana or so :)

Me behaving badly

Well here are three sms’s and one conversation I had, me behaving in a so-called-rude manner.. I would not see it like that though... Its just me, trading off one thing for another...

Actually the count rises :)


Playing with the thought if I should stop teasing her friend and give her the kiss she is longing for the last one and a half hours, or just use her as a means to satisfy my revenge feeling for her two best friends who bitched on me three years ago.
At some point, the friend she is with me, smoking a cigarette, blows the smoke in my face, one thing, nobody should do.
To her,
“you know it is rude to blow smoke into people’s face”
She blows it then to her friends’ face.
I turn to her flirt, and tell him,
“You know, women of nowadays do not have any decency...”
“The mothers have not taught the any manners...”
“Haha” – he starting to crack up... I turn to her, and back to him,
“Women used to be more fun in the old times, when we were young”
He explodes, I turn to her with the “so what “ look, she is soo pissed off, it takes her flirt the whole night to calm her down.
mine is justified behaviour?

Dunno, do not CARE


“Hello Finndistan, what are you doing tomorrow? I will be passing by Tampere on my way home, would like to meet.”
“What time?”
“Around four pm”
“Hmm.. I would appreciate it if you could come later, to my place, so we will have a relaxed, unhurried evening, unlike all or other, squeezed in afternoon meetings. It is quite hard to arrange the afternoon.”
“See you some other time than”
“Ok, have a nice trip”

She is a girl I like, somebody I enjoy conversating with, and somebody I have coffee-dated couple of times, a year ago. Someone, whose friend calls me when she is in town... Someone who turns me on.. but has not accepted any of my invitations yet.. So, what I did, was at work till four thirty, went to sports at five, and was home by seven thirty, watched a movie, and slept..


Supposed to meet this girl in Teerenpeli.. Seven thirty.. she is an old friend, who quit talking to me a year ago, but after I wished he a merry christmas, she decided she wanted a coffee with me.. I said fine, lets have it.
Friday, Seven forty five...
“Finndistan, are you going to come?”
“I am here, in Teerenpeli, as suggested, and waiting”
“I am in Telakka”
“There must’ve been a misunderstanding... Lets meet tomorrow then”
Telakka is like 20 minutes walking distance from teerenpeli, and it is -10
“You said Telakka in the sms you sent me, come here”
“No, lets meet tomorrow”
“Come, you have a car”
“Car is home, sleeping, meet tomorrow 2pm telakka, or come here” – That day I walked to the gym...
She does not answer for ten minutes.. so I send,
“Tomorrow 15?”


In doris, saturday night, I met this cute, extremely cute, padre’s daughter, a theology student... After dancing without air between our lower body, around three twenty, she says, she’s gonna leave, if I would please call her on sunday.. I say no, lets continue the night, she says she will sleep, and if I will call her, I say I will.. She repeats the request three times more. I get her number...

At nine am in the morning, I get up to pee, and then send her a message,
“Will have breakfast around twelve, you are welcome, will go back to sleep”
“Twelve is too early, is five pm too late?”
I was supposed to meet my neighbor at seven, to watch Lord of the rings, so I decided, it is too early...
“Yes it is, come when you wake up.”
No more replies received after that..
Told her I will go to movies at seven, but think she forgot it.. And now I so much regret not having spared her the one and a half hours until sixthirty...


“Lets go to my place” I say
“So where do you want to go?”
“Hotel room upstairs” – We are in Ilves Niteclub, below the hotel..
“You have a room?”
“No, will rent one.”

So we go to the reception, and she does not talk to the receptionist... I wait.. wait.. she looks at me like, “go get a room”.. The receptionist is having fun...
I pull her back,
“So, you want me to get a room?” – at least 120 euros for a nite
“No. I said we can go to my place, you said hotel.. so you get the room.”
“No you get it”
“No, my place is so close that I will not pay for this”
“How much is it?”
“Dunno, but expensive”
“Lets share the pay?” – Wonder what she will offer..

Opens her purse and takes out twenty five euros.. So I will pay one hundred?? My ass...
“That will not cover the breakfast here, and I will not cover the rest of the room... My place is close, we can get a cab, brakfast included, free. We are going there” – By this point, I am ready to leave on my own. Will not pay 100 euros for a night after having drunk five jaegermeister shots before drinking four velko’s!
“Where do you live?”
“No hotel?”
“Ok, let’s go”


The end

God speaks through music

Smells like sex...
Felt like I emptied all I have...
Lying on her chest, her sweat and mine mixed...

One ear hear a dubdup dubdup dubdup... Fast, really fast...

And suddenly I realize the song playing...
I realize its God’s voice speaking...

the song is Özgurluk - Freedom, by Tarkan
What I got was this part:

Rüzgara, yildizlara sordum
"Yorulma bosuna; aldanma
O zaten hep seninle" dediler
Kuslara, yagmurlara sordum
"Özgürlük içinde, kalbinde
Uzaklarda arama" dediler

Bir hazine ki: o en kiymetli, o en tatli
Ama kimde anahtari:
Nerede sakli?....

Asked the wind, asked the stars,
“Do not get tired, deceived,
it is always with you” they said
Asked the birds, asked the rains,
“Freedom is in you, in your heart
don’t look for it far away” they said

Such a treasure, the most valuable, the most sweet,
but who has the key?
Where is it hidden?


Was thinking about this when the second song came up,

Guano Apes, Lord of the Boards
I've got the snowboard under my feet
I can fly so high, I can fall so deep
But who do I see comin' up the track
A little green man with the snowboard on his back


And now I'm flying like an angel to the sun
My feet are burning and I grab into another world


But then, the third song hit me in my half asleep tired relaxed state:

Athena – Ask Mesk Yok – There is no Love

Ben hiç bilmem
Bu islerden anlayanlardan çok
Kafani yorma, ask mesk yok!
I do not know
More than ones understanding these,
Dont get troubled,
There is no love, there is no love.

And I fell asleep.....

I moved four months ago,

I moved four months ago,
and I listen to music in my place,
Sometimes loud sometimes not.
And sometimes in the night when I have company, very silent...

One day,
I am sitting home, and a letter is thrown through my door,
Lost the paper,
saying stuff like – in Finnish, btw..


We have had enough from your music terror.
Day and night we do not want to hear your music.
We have gone to the housing manager, and want a immediate solution.
Read the rules!!
Your music can be heard from the other side of the building!!!
And much more without signature.


I got so pissed that day,
- If you have a problem, come knock my door like bloody civilized people
- If you wait that long to complain, of course you will get angry... Not my problem, its your incompetence
- Sign the fvcking complaint
- And how shall I know when you got disturbed... Did I eat Nostradamus's shit?
- After ten there is no loud music in my place except maybe one or two Saturdays in a month and that is also one or two songs... Tolerance to noise. I tolerate so many things here.
- Be a human and use your bloody tongue that god had the courtesy to give you. that is why you have the ears, to learn to speak

So, I just wrote this paper, and put it into the apartment entrance.

Just waiting for the day to have loud music again, and want to see if there is anybody coming with a complaint. Really, then the solution is easy, without either part getting pissed off.


Yesterday I got this complaint thrown through my door.
Neither is the language appropriate, nor the method.
Next time, if I happen to disturb you with my music,
Please come and tell it to me on the occasion,

-I did not know that walls/doors were so thin
-I did not know that there was somebody this much disturbed from my music

And with a written paper like this,

- I will not know when the music was too loud
- I will not know how loud is too loud
- I will not know who I disturbed
- I will not know at what time, which volume is appropriate

So, please, next time you get disturbed by me; unlike this inappropriate way of communication,
I beg you to come and ring my door,
Like civilized people, we can have a chat; you can tell me your complaint,
And we can easily come to an agreement,


Some cannot handle too much

At one point I got bored of being interrogated by women,

Was at the Henris Pub queue,
Three honey bunnies in front of me,
Three of my buddies behind me,
I say something to the girl,
And we start chatting,
Before the second sentence, I get
“Where are you from?”
“What do you do here?”
“I climb trees?”
“No really?”
“I climb trees” – The guys behind me are exchanging looks –WTF he is doing?
“I catch squirrels”
“What do you do?”
“I climb trees and sleep with squirrels.. At least that is what my friends think” – One guy behind me cracks up, and I am having one hell of a time

A few more stupid questions, and a few more even stupider answers, on the third or fourth, the girl turn around with the fuck you look on the face, I crack up, guys crack up, and the whole night after that was pure joy...

What would you do?

Choose extreme fun vs. puthy
Stop fun to get the puthy

Be charmant and get puthy
Be respectful and not use people – women – for your own momentary fun?

I chose to have momentary fun, the puthy would be just a bonus, and as a woman cannot come up with an original question – here just now I possibly got a very important inspiration, will report on it later – she does not deserve an non original answer :)

My fun precedes all other issues in life.
Yes I am selfish,
And yes, I am evil.

Kisses, smack smakkkk

Series: Bitchblocks

Another series by the famous director:


Bitchblock: You hit on a girl, and her friend tries every possible way to block you out. whatever reason the bitch has in mind....


Henris pub, just as I am going out, I see this hottie sitting with her friends by the exit. She works in Stockmann last floor. Go up to her, initiate conversation, get good vibes,
Her friend sitting by her looks at me, at my friends waiting by the door, at her, and
“Stop talking to my girlfriend”
“hey, you can say that also decently”
“Well then I disregard you” – and turn to my girl..
In the end we end up shouting, fuck of, shut up, am I talking to you, and her pulling her “girlfriend” aggressively away from me”
That was the first of two “we are lesbian” replies I got in the same nite.


Dancing with the girl.
Her friend comes to hit on me.
Gets rejected.
Pull the girl away.
And makes her leave to Ilves. I am called by my girl.
I do not pay another entrance just for that.


Talking to a girl,
A girl comes up,
And then my girl tells me,
“So, you talk to everybody you meet”

Apparently I had hit on her friend's friend – in reality, that girl tried to hit on me, and was shot down over the Baltic...
And at that time did not have a good answer to that – by good I mean useful, so was nicely bitchblocked


talking to the girl I really wanted to date.
her friend comes up and tells her she wants me and that she will not speak with her if she sleeps with me.


Many many times, two girls in the bar,
Talk to one,
the other, really uninteresting looser woman,
Gets bored,
Takes the girl to dance...


Finnish insencerity

Landed on sunday nite.
Went on a business trip the next day, had very good time with my colleagues and people I do not know,
Came back on Wednesday, went to lunch and was reminded of the Finnish insincerity I am living through:

A good friend, lets call her Emma, though not Finnish, to prevent shit being thrown on her, went to the sweat class in the school gym on Monday.
Sweat is a circuit training class, thirty to forty people, seventy-five minutes.
The teacher is a Finnish girl, also comes to my gym, and hard time getting replies for my “hi’s”..

Emma is a busy girl,
Monday she is late for the class,
When she enters the gym, people are warming up,
She runs to the dress room, and she returns to the sweat area when people are on their third exercise.
Instructor looks at her and over the sound of the music, the shouting begins
“You cannot come, it is already full”
“Why is that, we can create another station”
“You are late already 15 minutes”
“You just started I know, I can start from here”
“Sorry, I can not create station, people have already started they can not ..”
“ ??”
E.. pissed off, she leaves.

Another friend of her told that five minutes after this incident, two Spanish guys just walked in to the exercise area and started circuit training she created a jumping station for them, without a sound from the instructor bit**...

Is there a mental disorder called Latino dick love syndrome?

I wonder...

Some history:

This girl has a history with me too...
Used to go to the sweat classes myself, three four times a week, and she was there most of the time, as a visitor like me..

I had quite good relations with the instructors, and she was their friend. When she was close by when I was chatting with the instructor, she had always this yyaaack look on her face.

One day, a friend of mine came to sweat, and Italian.
We talking English, he has eee this eeee Italian accenteeeee.. Verry heavieeeee
Suddenly she stops what she’s doing, turns around,
She looks at him, her face lightens up, and next I see she is all over him and the other Italian girl who is his friend...

Interesting, ain’t it...

Saturday, February 07, 2004

A question about sex

Hi people,
A kind of disturbing thought has entered my mind and does not leave.


Sometimes we categorize sex..
Sex with a loved one..
sex in a relationship..
Sex with girl/boyfriend
Sex with fuckbuddies
A one night stand with a lot of interaction
A one night stand with little interaction
Sex on the spot.

Many people have said, including me, that sex with feelings is always better.

I remember the first time I touched the breasts of a girl I once loved, I shaked in such a way she panicked...

As for fuckbuddies, the more you get to know the person, the better it gets, as you get to know the mind and body...

For the one night stand, if the girl hits your brains, meaning the sex not just for the body, which is quite probable for a man, the sex will be not much different than sex in love. To add here, this one night interaction can have quite close feelings to love as it has all the necessary elements : arousal, excitement, fear, admiration, inspiration, desire, passion, and the feeling of longing... Anyway, this kind of stand usually evolves into a relationship..

Then this thought occured to me,
When having sex with a girlfriend, etc... – am not going into marriage, as I still consider it a holy institution, no matter if I am not sure I want to be part of it or not...- there is the issue of familiarity. You know you are going to get laid, and you know if not tonite, you will get laid tomorrow nite...
the issue of familiarity also brings with it the fact that she knows what you like, and the orgasms are quite well...
Now here, I have heard some people say that nothing beats masturbation, as you know what you like. Is not here the same problem as above? You masturbate, ok, the orgasm will maybe feel better than condomized sex, but you will know when and how you will come, and know exactly how it will feel.. This will not stop you, but you will just know...

A girlfriend, knows... Yea, feels good, but she knows... you love her, but you know...
A-ha you say, this is her third orgasm, now I can come, no matter on the kitchen table, on the floor, or by the lake....
Come she will say... maybe everytime...
even the so called spontaneous sex in a relationship is not spontaneous, as you know you will get it.. eventually..

In these cases,
Physical orgasm? Yes... Actually with every sex..
Emotional orgasm? If there is love.. affection etc... maybe the feeling of sharing.. yes..
And there is this thing which bothers me...
The instinctive orgasm.
You do not have it with a girlfriend, and absolutely not with your hand...

Men’s instinct: To hunt for new prospects to spread his genes, to find as many possible (If I hear someone disagreeing, go watch Discovery Channel)
Women’s instinct: Even God does not know...


To find the best prospect...
Now the instinctive orgasm...

Only happens when you lay the girl for the first time.. When your body knows its mission to increase your genes survival has been accomplished..
And if that girl turns out to be good in bed, and good in mind, with a good body, the instincts are satisfied, hence, you will get the three kind of orgasms, which, when I look back, is the most powerful combination.
Here I have to add, the man who leaves such a girl, is probably someone heavily following instincts,

A one night stand... is more powerful in satisfying the man in you, as your body knows you have spread your genes, and can move on. And that is what I find troublesome.
A one night stand. This functioning body of woman comes up to you, you have your mating ritual, you have the coupling, and you are free to go for a new carrier.
The body says, I have achieved my goal, I shall mark my territory, and move out to seek my next mate. And this feeling precedes the physical and emotional relief you get from the orgasm.
And if my body would be asked to choose only one, my body memory tells me to follow my instincts...
And this realization, has ended in me writing this text,


For you, what kind of satisfaction is the dominating one out of sex?


All three? – this is just for the ones who cannot decide, or are too afraid to realize, whatever their choice may be, for whatever reason...
If you were to remember your orgasms, the ones you can still remember, the ones which still make you shiver, into what category do they fall in?

Please send me your comments